Do I have what it takes to be who they say I am?

What struck me, in fact, was that Bruce looked frightened. He kept fidgeting with his cap and he refused to face the crowd. When he finally did speak, he sounded like a high school kid playing drunk. 'How's things going over here in England and stuff, huh? All right?' The crowd hooted and Bruce laughed so hard he began gasping for air. He wanted everyone to understand how outrageous he found the situation: all these posh Londoners turning up to see his little bar band. It was one of those awkwardly phone moments designed to conceal something awkwardly real. Bruce was stalling. He hadn't quite answer the question that haunts all budding superstars: 'Do I have what it takes to be who they say I am?'

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Steve Almond
Rock and Roll will Save you Life

Woman pees on Wal-mart guard. Awesome.

MUSKEGON, Mich. (WZZM) - A Muskegon woman who pleaded guilty to armed robbery and unlawful imprisonment charges will spend 7 to 22 years in prison for her crimes.

Marilyn Cole pleaded guilty in April for the November 2009 assault of a Walmart security guard. Police say that when a Walmart security guard confronted Cole about stealing items from the Roosevelt Park store, she head-butted him, knocked him into a car and sat on him. Police said Cole urinated on the guard while another woman drove from the store.

They were taken into custody about a mile from the store.

Judge William Marietti said that Cole's long prior record contributed to the long sentence and that Cole made took this case "well beyond" a simple case of retail fraud. Cole was also on parole for robbing a Macatawa Bank in April of 2008.

Amy Fox

Don't call a girl fat. She will eat you.

Police: Woman bites man after being called fat
7 mins ago

LINCOLN, Neb. – Police say a 24-year-old man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn't like being called "fat." Police spokeswoman Katie Flood said officers were called to a Lincoln hospital around 3:25 a.m. Wednesday to talk to the injured man.

He told them that he'd been bitten at a party.

Flood said officers later learned that the injured man and two others had been arguing with other people at the birthday party. Flood says the man told 21-year-old Anna Godfrey that she was fat.

Officers said Godfrey then tackled the man and took a bite.

Flood said the ear chunk was not found.

Godfrey was arrested on suspicion of felony assault and remained in custody Wednesday. Case records don't yet list her attorney's name.

Florida Vampire to Run For USA President

The criminal complaint says he was running for president in 2007 when the 16-year-old Rochester girl wrote a message of support on his MySpace page. She told police they began dating online, and the threats began when she tried to break off the relationship. Jonathon 'The Impaler' Sharkey: GOP Vampire Goes to Washington Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, a self-styled vampire is heading to Washington, D.C. to begin a campaign to contest the Presidency in 2012. The 45-year-old Florida resident has run for office in the past: in 2006, Jonathon Sharkey ran for Governeor of Minnesota, as well as presidential bids in 2004 and 2008. Apparently, the media storms surrounding Sarah Palin, Barack Obama, John McCain, and Hilary Clinton drowned out the vampire, who has switched his party affiliation from Independent to Republican. Jonathon Sharkey is also a pro wrestler who goes under the name Rocky "Hurricane" Flash, and is trying to make a documentary about his bid for the White House. Vampire vs Family Values The Impaler may have an uphill battle in wooing Republican support, even if one doesn't count the vampirism. Johnathon Sharkey, who claims not to have dated a girl older than 19 in the past four years, is engaged to a 19-year-old from Ohio who also identifies as a vampire, and has admitted to harassing 16-year-old girl via email after she contacted him via MySpace. Jnathon Sharkey also has a restraining order from the family of Paige Marie Brewer, whom he is accused of "brainwashing". Sharkey and Brewer were engaged up until February 2010. Sharkey also spent time in jail after intimidating a judge. "He does believe in Republican values," Matthews said. "Is he going to make a big splash with his current identification of being a vampire? That's up to the voters to decide." read more

Reference: www.nowpublic.com

Great, in-head movie.

(Do yourself a favor and after reading this, close your eyes and picture this story actually happening. It's too damn funny.)

The Continuing Crisis

Ralph Conone, 68, was arrested in Columbus, Ohio, in March after witnesses identified him as the man who several times had walked up behind young children, punched them on the head when their parents weren't looking, and walked away as if nothing had happened. According to police, Conone confessed that he had been punching children in public since January because he liked the "excitement" of getting away with something. [Columbus Dispatch, 3-12-10]

13-Year-Old Spends $2 Million On Ebay

I found this story today and I had to send it along. I'm not sure how old it is, but I don't think that really matters. The mind of 13 year old amazes me. My favorite part of the story is the very last sentence. Enjoy :)

13-Year-Old Spends $2 Million On Ebay

ROGERS, Ohio -- A 13-year-old boy spent about $2 million from a school computer buying a helicopter, a jet and other items over the Internet using a password belonging to a friend's mother, authorities said. The woman discovered the purchases the day the helicopter's owner called and asked how she intended to pay for the aircraft. She is having the purchases canceled. The $1.1 million helicopter is a used military model. The boy has not made it clear what he intended to do with his purchases.